If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
