Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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