Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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