im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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