the condom got lost in my hair
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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