This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
