So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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