Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
