im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
