I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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