69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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