Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
