You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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