is your mom at the bar?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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