at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
