broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
