the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
