Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
