Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
