Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
