i can't believe i had my finger in that
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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