At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
