ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
