I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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