Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
