Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
