I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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