he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
