You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
