my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
