you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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