I just pynch a tree in the face
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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