Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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