Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There's even glitter on my cock...
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