hell yes lets make some ravioli
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
