Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
