I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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