Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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