UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize