Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
