I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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