He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
