I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
