That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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