Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
