do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
pop tarts are not kleenex
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
