Are we in a gay sports bar?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
