So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The air was thick with penises
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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