it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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