turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You were trust falling into bushes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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