im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize