I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize