whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
