Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
