i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize