Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
sex in a hospital.. check
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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