Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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