ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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